UPDATE: As was stated in the post after this one (Refraction), this post was taken too personally. I have updated it a bit to help show that we didn’t mean to offend anyone.
Now that Katie has finished up school and graduated (Yay Katie!), we’ve had a chance to step back and take a look at our life and the direction it is going. No one is truly ever sure of what their future holds for them, but I think we can influence it by the actions we take and the people we interact with.
Truthfully, if there has ever been a time for me to question the direction on which my life is going and whether I’m at the right place, doing the right things, surrounded by the right people now is it. Really I shouldn’t just say my life, since I have to have Katie’s best interests in mind too. We are one now. . .we are the Chatie! Anyway, this has all stemmed from a particularly nasty email Katie and I found in our inboxes this morning from a “friend.” The details of this message are going to remain only with the people who it concerns, but it is the main reason for all of our reflections this morning. This isn’t going to be a rant attempting to chastise this person or anyone else, I am better than that.
One big thing that we have realized is that only the ones that truly love you or are considered “true to the core” friends can be fully trusted with anything. These other “people” out there just misconstrue and fabricate things for the betterment of themselves. My mother basically put it that I have lost my innocence. This could quite possibly be true. I mean maybe we have been putting to much trust in these people, this definitely hasn’t been the first time it has backfired, but most likely it will be the last. Next time, we won’t be able to be caught off guard. We will learn to choose our friends more wisely and distance ourselves from the ones we feel don’t match with us.
That brings up my point of who Katie and I have surround ourselves with. I’m starting to question if they are the right people. Yes we get along with them, we have good laughs with them, and generally enjoy each others company. It comes down to the drama that is caused, apparently by Katie and I in some way or another and we don’t even know how. It is like these people thrive on conflict and since Katie and I are typically passive about it, they get angry at us. Maybe Katie and I should just ignore everything that’s going on around us and let these people learn the hard way that we aren’t doing anything to harm them.
The other point is we have to look out for our future family and ask ourselves questions about these people. Do we really want our children around jobless and seemingly unmotivated people? Do we want to take our children to parts of the town that aren’t the best because these friends chose to live there? Do we want our children around people who help run a business where part of it’s sales are related to a borderline illegal activity? The problem is, if we try to answer these questions now what happens if we are wrong. What happens when the jobless friends get jobs and/or degrees or the other friends move to safer areas or the business model changes? We lose friends, but is this a sacrifice we are willing to take? In reality though, it is any real concern if we are around these people or what they do away from us? They don’t try to influence they decisions and ways of life on us and we try not to do it to them. I am thinking the best course of action is to confront this questions IF (and looking back on it, that is a big if) there is ever a problem that arises from it. Life’s too short to worry about these things right now.
I feel as though I have made the right decision with my career paths, but Katie is questioning hers. She hasn’t been able to find a job yet, but it is still early in the search. I think the thing coming down on both of us the hardest is family asking questions that are none of their business. For example asking her how much pay her future job holds (money isn’t everything people!) and how long would it take her to get her Pharm-D degree (hello people., a pharmacist is going to be replaced by a computer in the next decade anyway). Katie is happy with her choices and you people should support her with whatever she does. I am very grateful for our friends supporting her throughout her entire schooling and job search and not questioning her moves.
In closing, maybe Katie and I aren’t fit to be where we are. Maybe we need to be around more “yuppies” (god I hate that word) like us. Maybe we need people around us with college degrees, who live in the suburbs, and sit around sipping a glass of wine on the back deck. Maybe we don’t. Maybe we are fine with the people we are with now. It sure does make it hard to tell when one wakes up, walks over to their blackberry and sees an e-mail that destroys trust and presents an ultimatum when we were only trying to help.
